Dont Be Afraid. Don't Be Very Afraid; Crime in Little Rock (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rock)

"Be afraid. Be very afraid." That's what one character warned another in the 1986 classic horror remake of "The Fly" with Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. I'm here to say the opposite about Little Rock.


Little Rock often ranks up high in crime, especially after adjusted by population size. You may have seen a recent report of such and freaked out just a little bit. (Can you freak out a little bit?) Using the FBI's Uniform Crime Report, Wall St. 24/7 recently awarded Little Rock the number six slot in its list of the Most Dangerous Cities in America. They looked at violent crimes like murder and aggravated assault.


When describing a one of my favorite bars in my hometown to folks, I would often call it "the safest dangerous bar in Fort Smith." It also had a 5 a.m. license, and after about 1 a.m. or 2 a.m., it got really interesting. One time, I saw a one-limbed man get in a fistfight. Another night, I counted among its patrons two transvestites, a couple of full-blood Cherokee, an off-duty pizza delivery guy still in uniform, some military dudes and three guys working on a classified project at Fort Chaffee for the Department of Energy. (They do some security training out there). I digress. My point is if you weren't laid back about life in general, then the crowd might have made you a little anxious. The fact is many years ago when I was a night page proofer for the paper, I didn't get off work until midnight. Many a Wednesday or Thursday night found me there with some friends kicking back. I never had anything bad happen to me at this Mos Eisley Spaceport Tavern (not its real name, of course). Could it have happened? Sure, it could. Was I always just a little on my guard? Damn straight. Did that wariness keep me from having a good time? Hell, no.



The people who really got into trouble at the Spaceport Tavern were those looking for it. They were mixing too deep with folks they didn't know. They were becoming aggressive drunks. If you delved deeper into Little Rock's numbers, I suspect you would find a good deal of that. And, some innocent victims just were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Still, it's my perception that the Rock is a pretty safe "dangerous city" if you follow my Mos Eisley ground rules. At the very least, you'll feel safer. Take some buddies if it's an iffy place. Don't get overconfident or sloppy. Don't do bad stuff with bad people — buy drugs, pay prostitutes, trade in stolen goods. (I know: Damn! There goes my weekend!) After that, relax. It'll probably be OK. Really.


Some folks don't feel comfortable in my neighborhood because it's south of I-630. For the most part, I feel safe though. Do I give a hard look to a car slowly driving by or someone else on the street at night when I'm walking my dog? Yep. Do Marlowe the Wonder Dog and I still enjoy our walks? Apart from the ridiculous heat radiating off pavement and the humidity, yes, we do. This so-called danger doesn't have to affect your quality of life here if you don't let it and if you do not get stupid. Truly, those rules should apply anywhere. Just because the crime rate somewhere else may be low, doesn't mean you can't be a victim. It just means the odds are lower.


Let me illustrate that last point with a joke. A man in Northern Ireland is walking down a city street late at night. Suddenly, a stranger grabs him, pushes him against a wall and puts a knife to his neck. "What religion are YOU?" He screams. Thinking fast, the accosted man finally exclaims, "I'm a Jew." His assailant yells in hateful joy, "Hot damn! I'm an Arab, and I found the only Jew in Belfast!"


Requisite Disclaimer Since This Is The Internet: That's not a slur against Arabs, or anyone's religion. It's a joke about bad luck, and I suppose bigots. 


Finally, the FBI warns against the very comparisons that Wall St. 24/7 made. In my years as a journalist I've learned to look hard and skeptically at those kinds of numbers. Not every city collects these statistics in the same way and not every state classifies or charges crimes the same way, so that skews any results some. In my opinion, crime just isn't as bad as it looks here (quickly knocking on wood). Some people who have been here for years may have horror stories to tell, and agree more with the character in "The Fly." They might chime in "Be Afraid. Be very afraid." To use yet another allusion — I swear it's my last, a character in "Blade Runner" said to another character, "It's terrible to live in fear. Isn't it?" Yes, it is, and I'm going to choose not to and to try to remember to live smart.


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